MARRIAGE: DISCUSS YOUR PROBLEMS

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    Discussing problems, working out plans together as a unit, is often a wise idea. There is nobody alive who has all the answers to all the problems that will occur. This applies to any facet of living, but it also applies to marriage, not only early in the piece, but right throughout it.
    Pool your ideas, pool your hopes, ideals and dreams. In this way, with sensible discussion (preferably in an unheated way), much good may accrue.
    Two heads are better than one. Whoever said that first was a genius. It was probably somebody's marriage partner!
    This is very true in marriage. How often in business will an executive call in a fellow director, or another person from down the line, for an opinion, or expression, or merely to consider an idea or thought! The business world has known the value of multiple minds in gaining a successful, workable line of action. If it is good enough for successful businesses, it is just as appropriate for the business of running a home unit.
    Family discussions are best carried out when everyone is cool, calm and collected. So often what should be simple, sensible talks, end up in heated rows that finally give two people headaches, often with one finishing up in tears and the other shouting and waving his arms. This is far from funny. More seriously, it is far from rewarding. Time, effort, energy, and calories have been needlessly wasted.
    Keep calm, cool, mentally occupied with the problem if you hope to gain some value from discussions. Go into problems with an open mind. Don't put up an idea with the hard-headed approach that "I'm right, you're wrong." That will only breed disaster from the start, and cannot possibly yield a beneficial outcome. Be prepared to listen to the points of view put forward by the other partner. This may all sound a little as though I am preaching, which is not intended. These are merely simple suggestions that, as most people know, work. It is often worth while writing things down, for this makes them clearer. That is exactly the intention of these chapters. They are not meant to be a dogmatic exposition of my thoughts on marriage. They are simply suggestions, guidelines, thoughts that might make your early days of married life a little smoother.
    There are many psychological aspects of marriage that are very important. In these days of medical enlightenment, many know what these include. However, despite the fact that we are living in the last part of the twentieth century, many are still abysmally ignorant of some of the simple facts of life. This is not casting any aspersions on anyone's knowledge, but is simply a situation that I have noticed in my close association with many people over many years.
    So, a few words along a slightly different tack.
    Boys coming from families where they were the sole member, or those coming from an all-boy family, are often not as well versed with the failings and foibles of the gentle sex as those who have been brought up in a mixed family, or who attended a co-educational school. Also, many tend to forget basics that they should know quite well.

    *9/76/5*
    GENERAL HEALTH